Trick or Treat, Smell My ,,, EDWARD!
by sw1m4l1fe
Summary: Alice and Edward work together to make Bella's first Halloween one she will never forget. One shot, Halloween themed. Enjoy!


"Edward!?!?"

"Yes, Bella?"

"I cannot, for the life of me, find a costume that I want to wear for trick or treating!"

"I really don't know why you insist on going trick or treating, Bella. You're a senior in high school!" Edward said, trying to reason with me.

"Hey now," I started, "you're the one that insists I have all of the human experiences I can _while _I can. This is one of them."

"So you're telling me that you've never been trick or treating before? I find that somewhat hard to believe."

"I haven't! Not that I can remember, anyway. Renee was always too superstitious to let me go, and the only reason Charlie is letting me go is because I told him you were going with me. Please, Edward," I begged.

I knew he wouldn't be able to resist my pouty face, so I stuck my bottom lip out and gave him the puppy-dog eyes.

"Bella…," he started, then sighed.

"Yes?" I sniffled out.

"I think you should be a…"

"…A what," I questioned. Edward had zoned out mid-sentence.

"How 'bout a witch?" he said spritely.

"A witch? Sure. That's easy enough for a first Halloween."

"In fact," Edward said, "Alice has an old witch costume that I'm sure she'd be willing to spice up for you."

"Awesome," I exclaimed. "I'll go and talk to her about it right now!"

"There's no need for that," Edward said, smiling.

"Geeeeeeeez, Edward," Alice said playfully as she bounced into the room. "Do you have to ruin _all _of my fun?"

"Not _all_ of it," he responded, smiling crookedly at Alice.

"Good," she chirped. "So, Bella, if you'll come with me, please. I'll take your measurements and then I can start altering the costume for you."

"Sure," I said.

~*~

I was in Alice's 'closet'. It was more like a high end clothing store with a built in alteration shop. I was standing on a small, circular platform in the dead center of her closet with black fabric draped and pinned on me.

"Do you have a witch's hat, too?" I asked as she drew the tape measure around my bust.

"Oh yes. It's just in a box somewhere. Don't you worry about that, though. I'll take care of it."

"Thanks, Alice. I really would be screwed if I didn't have you."

"Well, you know what they say. Damned if you do, damned if you don't."

I laughed. "How is that in any way relevant?"

"Oh. Well…never mind," she said quickly. "There, I'm all done pinning. Carefully take it off, please. We don't need a repeat of your birthday."

Moving at a snail's pace, I wriggled and maneuvered my way out of the fabric without being scathed by any of the pins.

"I'll have it all sewn up and ready for you by tomorrow."

"Thanks, Alice!" I said excitedly.

"All I ask is that you let me put it on you with your eyes closed. I want to see your full reaction on your first real Halloween. Mom's do it all the time for their children's first Halloween."

"Oooookay," I sighed. "I'll let you have your fun."

"Yes!" she said, almost jumping in excitement.

"Well…I'm going to go hang out with Edward. Thanks again, Alice!"

"Not a problem," she said, over emphasizing each word.

~*~

"Phew," I sighed, collapsing on the bed next to Edward. "I'm surprised that went over so easily. I guess Alice really wants my first Halloween to be memorable."

"Guess so," Edward chuckled.

"So what are you going to be?"

"Oh. Well, I was going to be Hef."

"Hef? Who's Hef?"

"He's nobody, really. Just some famous guy that lives in a mansion. He runs some kind of a popular magazine."

"Well that's boring…"

"Bella, I've had too many Halloweens to count. I have to get creative now a days."

"…But a guy that owns a magazine and lives in a mansion? That's so…bland."

"It will be alright, Bella. This Halloween is for you, anyway. No one will be looking at me. I can promise you that."

"Okay…," I conceded, tired from the day's activities.

~*~ October 31 ~*~

School flew by because I was so excited about the evening and going trick or treating for the first time. I drove over to Edward's house after school and finished my homework while Alice put the finishing touches on my outfit.

"Okay," Alice yelled. "I'm ready for you, Bella."

I gave Edward a light kiss before walking down the hall to Alice's room. He told me he'd be all 'Hefed up' before I was ready.

I'd stripped down to my underwear, per Alice's request and grudgingly closed my eyes. Fabric began flying over me. I could hear zipping and Alice tying something. She whisked my hair up into a high bun, and then I felt the dreaded makeup brush touch my face. She didn't take too long with getting me ready, which I was thankful for.

"Okay," she said, smiling.

I saw the bright flash of a camera through my eyes. "You can open your eyes now," she said quietly.

"Trick or treat," I started, opening my eyes, "smell my………EDWARD!!!!" Another bright flash of the camera, marking my expression.

I was no witch at all. Nothing near it. Alice had successfully transformed me into a skanky maid; the kind that slutty college girls dress up as and decide to call their minimal amounts of clothing a costume.

"EDWARD!" I yelled for the second time. I was glaring at the closet door, waiting for him to walk through so I could rip him a new one.

Instead of _my_ Edward walking through, a graying mean wearing a deep red velvet robe and loafers came strutting through.

"Yes, Bella?"

"Edward," I started.

"Hef," he corrected.

"What – ever," I fumed. "What the hell is this?" I asked, gesturing to my costume, or lack thereof.

"You're Miss October."

"Excuse me?" I asked, confused beyond belief.

"You are Miss October…from the Playboy magazine."

Everything clicked at that instant. I remembered back and everything I'd shrugged off over the past day suddenly had a double meaning…letting Alice have her fun, some old guy that heads up a magazine, keeping my eyes closed while I was being dressed. I felt so stupid for missing all of those things.

"Look, Bella, you're only human once. Live it up."

"If Charlie sees me…"

"Don't worry about that. We've already fabricated the evidence," Edward said as he pulled out some photos of me in a witch's costume. "Alice is _verrrrrry_ fast," he grinned. "Plus, I'll be able to hear if Charlie is within a mile of us."

I looked over at Alice who was smiling innocently at me.

"'Kay. You guys go have fun, now," she said, ushering us downstairs.

"But, but," I began, protesting.

"Either you go willingly, or I carry you the entire way," Edward said. "And judging by the short length of your skirt, I don't think you would enjoy that very much, Bella."

"Fine," I grunted, crossing my arms squarely across my chest.

"Oh! Don't forget your pumpkin baskets to collect candy in," Alice chirped.

I snatched the basket out of her hand and stomped down the front steps.

"What a memorable first Halloween," I said through my teeth.

"I told you it would be," Edward said.

He grabbed my free hand and we walked off on what was sure to be one of the most memorable and embarrassing evenings of my life.

The End! Happy Halloween! [:

I hope you guys enjoyed it! It's always a lot of fun for me to write one-shots. Thanks to my amazing beta, superdupersk8r61, for the idea as well as the editing.

xoxo,  
swimmy


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